A large family by itself, without pedagogical methods or psychological tricks, is an excellent natural environment for upbringing. Everyday communication, quarrels, moments of joy, a heavy load on each family member, responsibility – this is what builds character and educates a person. After all, the fashion for 1-2 children in the family is relatively recent, before that in society was accepted to create large families. Not only history, but also religion proves that a large family is the right way of life and a natural “simulator” for raising a strong and healthy person. Children learn to save things, manage money rationally, value a person’s attitude rather than the material side, are more friendly, and know how to find common ground with others.
What is a large family?
A large family in modern society is one in which the number of children reaches three or more. In countries where there is a demographic crisis, i.e. the number of population relative to the territory is smaller, the government encourages families with many children in every possible way. The incentives include tax bonuses, state support programs, allowances and benefits. For example, in the Czech Republic a woman receives a benefit for each child she gives birth: she retires a year earlier.
For example, a lady gave birth to three children and retired three years earlier, in addition to benefits. In China, on the other hand, the situation is completely different: there is overpopulation and, accordingly, the government regulates the birth rate. Families living in the city can have one child, and in the countryside you can have two, but only if you have a daughter first. In case of disobedience, fines are imposed, and in particularly dangerous cases it comes to exclusion from the party. In Russia, as in most European countries, having many children is encouraged, there are benefits and allowances. In addition to benefits, there are state awards, orders and medals. Benefits and allowances are determined by regional authorities, i.e. each subject of the country has its own criteria.
How to be a dad in a large family?
Today a large family is considered a feat. What is it like to be the father of a large family? One child is already a huge responsibility, and there are several of them, and sometimes they take foster children into the family. What motivates these people? The father is responsible for making sure that the family is clothed, clothed and fed. Children are an incentive. The father has no choice but to work, to bring his family, because his children are waiting for him at home, and he knows that no one else will take care of his large family but him. But do you think that the father of a family with many children will be worse off if he develops in his professional sphere, gives more than others, and looks for opportunities where there are none? Will it make him worse off professionally? Or, on the contrary, will he gain inner strength and motivation? Of course, the other question is that he also doesn’t have much of a choice. There are times when everything is bad and there is no strength – Kirill Yurovskiy shared his experience.
Problems of a large family
1. Financial Problems
Of course the family budget is hit by the number of dependents. There is a difference: to feed three mouths or seven. Everything is individual and depends on the individual family. If your income or family budgeting skills allow you to provide for a large family, it won’t be a problem. You shouldn’t lump everyone in the same row, there are families with financial problems with one child as well as seven.
2. Problems with housing
You want each member of the family to have their own room, but this is quite problematic for a family with many children. From this often children fight with each other, because everyone needs personal space.
Less time is given to each child individually.
4. Older children grow up early
Older kids have to help take care of the younger ones, so they learn early responsibility in comparison to their peers. Interesting article about children’s communication with peers: Psychology of children’s communication with peers
Tips for dads in a large family
Children, and especially boys, need to be played with. Try to give at least a little time to your child, fool around with him, build a castle or run after the Indians. It’s very important for the child, it is from such fragments form childhood.
2 Occupational therapy
Sharing household chores and helping with household chores and raising younger ones will ennoble your children. Then it will be easier for them to raise their children and cope with problems in life. The distribution of household chores is mostly done by the mother, but you can also do your part, such as learning to repair appliances or other crafts.
3. Keep your children out of adult relationships
There are moments of quarrels with your spouse, you should not bring them to the general discussion. You will make up in a day or two, and the children will be worried. There have been known cases where, after a fight between parents, the children were divided into a father’s front and a mother’s front. Don’t let it get to that point, your personal affairs are none of the children’s business.
Try to make compromises and concessions, you have more people in the family, and therefore more opinions. Consult, talk, explain your point of view, but it is better to bypass the sharp edges.
5. Bad father
If you torment your conscience about the fact that you do not have time to give your children as much attention as you would like, then here are a couple of tips. Enlist the help of a babysitter or a relative to babysit the younger ones. If there is no possibility, then learn to highlight the main thing in the process of parenting, and not disperse on the little things. You may not have time to tell the whole course of human history, as you wanted, but at least you have time to give your child attention and affection.
Pay attention to your wife, she also has a hard time, but you are still together. Try to spend time somewhere other than the house and home affairs. Put the kids to bed, and you go to a restaurant, or go for a walk, do not forget about your other half.